The Not-So-Serious Biography

In fact he has permanent head damage (sometimes abbreviated to PhD) from Computer Science at the University of New South Wales. This is after he completed his Bachelor of Computer Engineering at the same place. Within the dark recesses of the AI department, he spends most of the time fooling with computers. He often gets sidetracked into doing things other than research, such as: building robots, editing his web page, having facetious arguments with the other inmates, disassembing (sometimes with extreme prejudice) equipment that doesn't work any more, playing Go, cruising the 'net. He certainly believes that, especially as far as the Internet is concerned, the journey is just as interesting as the destination.

Waleed has a great family. He's not too well off, but he's comfortable, and for both of these, he is grateful to the the unique Creator for all that he has blessed him with.

Waleed has rarely been the victim of anything but his own stupidity. This factor , however, can at times be of awesome magnitude. You can often find hitting his head on the wall, regretting something mind-bogglingly stupid that he has done, sometimes ten years or so before. Despite appearances, however, most people believe he still has his sanity. This belief is probably misplaced.

You will notice that there is no picture of this individual here. This is because the author does not want to induce nausea at such close proximity to computers. Vomit can do serious damage to computers.

He is bearded and short. He wears lopsided glasses.

He has what can only be described as a perfect nose ... that has been hit several thousand times with a very large mallet. People have compared the nostrils to jet intakes. One of the incidents that Waleed hits his head on the walls about was an incident where he inserted a Life-Saver into one of his nostrils. He has calmed down a bit since then. He now prefers to think of the nostrils as the ventilation shafts required to keep what he believes to be a "large" brain from overheating, and showering the world with the useless trivia.

Waleed's brain is unique. It operates on "inverse importance" principle. This means that Waleed can store vast quantities of utterly useless information (e.g. did you know that blind chameleons still change their colour to suit the environment?), while ensuring that he forgets the most important facts (like: when was that paper due?).

Waleed's goal is to be recognised for something other than his awful looks, obnoxious manner and over-apologeticness. For the last, he is extremely sorry.